Off to the Oncologist Today

Hi!

Thank you for your prayers! I am much calmer in this flood of problems than I was a few years ago in a similar situation. Then I went through a time where many things were breaking down, I damaged my car, and my relationships were a mess. After that time I was closer to God.

This time I have had cancer problems twice in the last week, then I broke my foot on Wednesday, September 1st. I can't get a cast on my foot until Friday, Sept. 10th because the orthopedist was on vacation. Then Spunky our beagle (who is a cutie pie) has gotten so sick from his food allergies that he is tearing up his skin by licking at it, and Saturday he got stung by an insect. He went to the vet and got 3 shots, plus now he is wearing an Elizabethan collar so he cannot lick or scratch. He is not a happy camper, but today he feels better. He can move along at a normal rate of speed, and his eye does not look infected anymore. The good thing for him is that I am cooking him yummy chicken and rice, because those are two things that are safe for him to eat. I am having problems with one relationship, but another one may be improving. I cannot exercise at all or take Spunky for a walk because of the broken foot and a pinched nerve in my back.

Saturday September 12th is my 40th class reunion, and I will go as a fat little porker on a walking cast. Tomorrow I had better start trying on clothes to see what will fit. My plan was to spend the last two weeks before the reunion walking 4 days a week and going to Curves 3 days a week. At least I could firm up some muscles and and eat less sweets. So far that has not happened, but I'm not really upset. What can I do?

All I can discern right now is that God wants to order my steps. Also, I'm praying first thing in the morning because I cannot go out for a walk. So my priorities are being rearranged.

Because of your prayers and my maturing, I am not wondering, "Why is God doing this to me???" I have been through a period of hard times before, and it wasn't God attacking me. He was growing me. Some events are also the normal progress of life; we are older so bones break easier. Doctors take vacations. I need to be patient. I am so lucky that I am not working. I wrote that the months of June and July were halcyon days, realizing those times are very brief. I enjoyed them and I thank God for them. It is wonderful to get to relax and enjoy the beauty of the Earth. (I will write a blog on the pursuit of Beauty. Until reading John Piper and the Eldredges, I never realized it was of God. )

I am remembering an old hymn. It goes something like this:
"For the beauty of the Earth, for the Glory of the skies
For the love which from our birth over and around us lies.
Christ, our God, to Thee we raise, this our hymn of grateful praise."

At the beginning of this blog I wrote out the lyric of "The Glory of it All" for a reason. The song says that God does not change. This song was a huge comfort to me on the day I realized my cancer was not curable. It comforts me now when I don't understand what is going on with my cancer. I will ask the oncologist today to increase my dose of Octreotide. On Sept. 2 I had another unexpected bout with diarrhea, just 3 days after the last one. I didn't eat anything that would cause me to be sick and pouring sweat in the middle of the night.

"At the start He was there, He was there. In the end He'll be there, He'll be there. And after all our hands have wrought, He forgives....All is lost, Find Him there, Find Him there. After night, Dawn is there, Dawn is there. And after all falls apart, He repairs, He repairs."