Quote for October
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thanks for praying. I got my scan scheduled for August 4 and 5. We come back from a trip to Monterey, California the night before. I just have to be in Orange at 9:00 the next morning. Maybe I can sleep through the scan. That would be nice. I'm just afraid of waking up with my head in the tube and not knowing where I am. That would scare me and the technician. ;/
We are going to Spirit West Coast in Monterey. David Crowder*Band will be there Thursday night. They were not at the SWC in Del Mar, so we skipped Del Mar this year and will spend 5 nights in Monterey. I have a picture of Katie in Monterey when she was about 6. We will have to go to the same place and take a new picture.
I feel well, but I have to watch my limits. I went to the beach on Wednesday, but slept through Thursday afternoon. I went to Curves on Friday at 4:30 and on Sat. at 10:30. That's too close together--my legs are too tired to work out hard. Today and Sunday morning I have to rest because Sunday afternoon we are going down to the fire pits at Huntington Beach. We'll leave pretty early so I'm not exhausted.
Things are going OK.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
In one week I should be having a scan done to see whats my tumor is up to now.
Please pray that I get the phone call ASAP from Nuclear Medicine to schedule the scan. The appt. should have already been made. The first day it could be done is June 21. We leave on vacation June 29- August 3. If we can't get the scan done before vacation, I have to stop every 8 hours to give myself an injection while we are out of town. I did it in Montreal, but I would like to be back on the long-lasting medication soon. I do better on then.
I am having symptoms for 3 weeks of heavy sweats that start suddenly and drench the hair on the back of my head. Last Wed. morning it was 79 degrees and my hair and the back of my hands were covered with drops of sweat. I was in the car with the A/C on. My face is often flushed. That's a classic sign of carcinoid.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
7/8/09 Actually, I do have an idea why. As I wrote on May 30th, I had turned my CgA levels over to God. I laid them down in front of the altar and made myself very small. I told God I was tired of wondering where my cancer markers were going to be, and I gave them over to Him. I said, "These are Your markers. Do what You want with them." Wherever they go now is totally His will. Thank You, Father. Praise You, Father!
Monday, July 6, 2009
For example, I went to Cal Baptist College in Riverside, California and studied biology. I knew that would be OK with my parents, it would be in keeping with my talents, and it was something I could afford to pay for. My parents would not have been so OK with me living in a coed dorm at UCLA and majoring in fine art where I would have been looking at nude models. I did what I thought was reasonable and not contrary to any Biblical teachings.
There was a popular saying at the time, "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life." I learned how to witness to people using the tract that made that statement, but I didn't think it applied to me. I didn't really think it applied to most people. I was an ordinary person. I had no great talent; I couldn't sing or preach or lead hundreds of people to Christ. I thought God just had a wonderful plan for special people.
So I worked as a science teacher, I married, and I had a daughter. I did not realize that God was working in my life, quietly and behind the scenes. After I had been married several years, I was very disillusioned with my life. The poor quality of my marriage had much to do with it.
In 2005 I came out of my disillusionment and realized God's plan for me was wonderful. It was during the hardest time in my life; when I realized my marriage was dead and nothing was going to save it. That was more devastating than when I found out that I had cancer. I remember clutching the steering wheel of the car each day driving back and forth to school as I listened to music by delirious?, Casting Crowns, Jonah 33 or Jeremy Camp. I would pray the lyrics of their songs as I drove down the street. It was especially intense between February and May of 2005.
I remember the day that I sat in the left turn lane at Hamner and Bellegrave in Ontario, California, praying as I waited for the light to turn green.
Jesus spoke to me and he said, "I'm waiting for you."
Jesus spoke right out of the middle of the back seat. He had the sweetest, kindest voice. He was waiting for me, and when I was ready, He would be there. There was no impatience, no toe-tapping. He was just waiting for me. I was that important to Him--He would wait for me!!
That was when Jesus became the one I love best; during those very hard days when I was in a situation I never thought I was going to find myself in. I remember going to a counselor who warned me that if I continued with my counselling, I was going to get to a place where I was well and I would be dissatisfied with my marriage. It might mean the end of my marriage.
When I heard that warning in 2005, I didn't care if my marriage ended; I wanted to be well. I knew I was close to being over my emotional problems. I was getting stronger. The end was in sight and I was going to reach it. If my husband insisted on staying where he was in his misery, that was his decision.
So I decided to go ahead and participate more in church life, even if it meant going to Bible study without my husband. In June 2006 I began working with Carmen greeting people before church and becoming acquainted with women who came to church alone. Sometimes I sat next to a woman who was by herself. In 2006 I began blooming.
A person cannot be spiritually mature until they are emotionally mature. All levels of maturity go hand-in-hand: social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, etc. You cannot excel at one maturity and be immature in other areas.
Now I know that God was guiding me in my choices as I went through my early years. He guided me as much as I would let him. I know I prayed about which college to attend and which major to choose. I wasn't very adept at discerning God's voice when I was young, but I think he He put me in the place I belonged. I know I am teaching in the place He wants me to be now.
Mostly, what has happened is that I have an attitude change. I see my life as part of God's plan.
He sees this entire picture from the creation of the world until its end. We see a small part of human history. It amazes me is that God's intellect and love is so vast that he remembers to have me read a book on July 6, 2009 that may help with a situation next year and that may help my daughter lead someone to Christ when she is on the mission field.
Each one of us has a place in God's plan. We might be the boy with 2 fish and 5 loaves or we might be his mom who packed the lunch. We might be the person who caught the fish or the one who mended the net. Each one of us has a place in God's plan.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The hotel was in the perfect location for us because we were on the edge of Old Montreal to the south and Chinatown to the north. The metro was across the street. Chinatown was having a open air market for several days--when it didn't rain. We picked up a $4 umbrella there and a $2 sun hat. (The weather varied.) Best of all, I got a Chinese stamp made with my name in Chinese characters. I got the red ink, so now I can stamp my great works with my name. I don't think I ever would have come across that item for sale anywhere else.
The gentleman who made the stamp had a Chinese shop on the corner of the pedestrian street. He has books, calligraphy materials, art supplies, and various thing re: Chinese culture. The top of my stamp had to have a raccoon on it because of the month and year I was born. The shop owner carved my name in 30 minutes while K and I went to eat dinner. It was an interesting conversation because he spoke Cantonese and French. He understood some English. I spoke English and K spoke some French, so together we figured it all out.
We took pictures and walked all over Old Montreal. We went to two museums. Of course, we tried various restaurants. One we really liked was Chez Suzette. They had crepes, fondue, and spaghetti like the spaghetti in Romania. K especially liked the spaghetti.
We had a very nice time. I had my wallet stolen on the first day we were there. Luckily, I had just taken my debit card out of the wallet for safe-keeping that morning. I wish I had also removed my checks and military ID. The ID had Social Security numbers on it for R and I, plus his birth date. We are both at risk for identity theft now. However, the thief never had used the credit card or any checks by time I changed the accounts. Maybe he/she just wanted the cash. Pray that we stay safe from any fraud.
It was interesting how I reacted to the theft. I discovered it at a restaurant where we ate lunch. I stayed calm and walked back to the hotel to get cash--there was only $35 in my wallet. I keep my money in a few different places when I travel. When I returned to the restaurant, the server expressed concern over the loss of my wallet. I thanked him and said so many different things had happened to me in the last couple years, that this wasn't such a big deal. Five years ago I would have been much more upset.
I need to replace my health insurance cards, driver's license and military ID. I have signed up for any identity theft program. Richard already had one.
We still had a wonderful time. I acquired a small French vocabulary. It's easy to read French signs because the vocabulary is similar to Spanish, and, as K pointed out, everything is in the present tense. We picked up a few Christmas ornaments a the Christmas shop, and we had a very flattering cariacature done by an artist in one of the city squares. I brought home a T-shirt for each of us and many pleasant memories. I would go back again.