Hello,
Just wanted to make a health note here because I learned something when I saw my oncologist at UC Irvine Medical Center today. A month ago I had gone in to see the surgeon who did the resection of my duodenum and removed the original tumors. I had not seen him for almost two years! It didn't seem that long.
I used to go to see the surgeon after I had an Octreoscan done. Last year I got to feeling MUCH better in November after the Octreoscan was done, so I never got over to the surgeon. However, now I have not felt very well since May, so I wanted to get this doctor's opinion. I told him about the increased heat and flushing of my face and back, plus the earlier diarrhea, and he decided I should have another Octreoscan. Plus, he wanted an Chromogranin A done that day in the lab at the Cancer Center.
Now that is where it gets interesting. As the surgeon suggested, I had the Chromogranin A test in the lab at UC Irvine in Orange, California. I used to do that, but for a year I have been having my blood drawn at a Quest lab near my home. However, the Quest lab keeps sending lab results with CgA levels that are lower than normal. Also, Quest Labs use a different scale to decide if the Chromogranin is too high. My oncologist said it was like comparing apples and oranges. Today I found out that the Chromogranin A drawn at the Cancer Center was borderline high. And, as my oncologist pointed out, that CgA was drawn the day after I just had the 40mg Octreotide LAR. I should have had very low CgA because I had just gotten a big dose of my medication.
Therefore, I am going to go back to getting my Chromogranin A levels checked at the Chao Family Cancer Center. I will go in an hour early before I get my Octreotide LAR injection and get my blood drawn when my Chromogranin A level should be at its highest. This way we should be able to get reliable numbers with respect to my Chromogranin levels.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The Crumbs that Fall from God's Table
The Faith of the Canaanite Woman/ Matthew 15:21-28
Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to Him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."
Jesus did not utter a word. So his disciples came to Him and urged Him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."
He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
The woman came and knelt before Him, "Lord, help me!" she said.
He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table."
Then Jesus answered, "Woman,you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
As you can imagine, the crumbs that fall from God's table must be tremendous. I am writing this to remind myself that I may not get all I want from God, but what I get is pretty amazing. I just had a breast biopsy today. I asked some friends for prayer, and I went through the biopsy with a feeling of great peace: lying there feeling like nothing was going to bother me. I actually felt quite cozy; I think that is the best word. The biopsy was done because a lump showed up in my mammogram. I have no symptoms. The surgeon cannot feel any mass, and the mass does not show up in an ultrasound, increasing the chance that it is benign.
In the past I have asked God for healing of complete conditions and I have asked for relief from symptoms. I have Sjogren's Syndrome, and I've had it at least 25 years. It's an autoimmune condition that begins with dryness in the eyes and mouth because the glands are being attacked. I began with dryness in my eyes that gradually led to a lump (pinguicula) on my left eye. My eye would water in bright light, and if I walked outside without sunglasses, I would grab my eye because of the strong pain that shot through my eye. Finally, the growth spread to my cornea (a pterygium), and my eye surgeon said we had to remove it.
Several weeks before the surgery, during a Bible study, I asked for healing in my left eye. The pain and watering were so bad, I had to pull off the road on the way home from work because I could not see the road. My friends prayed, and I was healed! I remember my friend saying, "She's healed," as the Lord spoke to her. After that day, my eye was moist and the pain and watering stopped. I considered cancelling the surgery, but the lump on my eye was a callus caused by the dryness that had been in my eye. It had not disappeared, and it interfered with the proper closing of my eyelid. That made my eye even drier, and my eye would not be perfect with the lump there.
My eye doctor is also an eye surgeon. I remember that he became more cautious as the surgery date approached. Sometimes a pterygium will come back after being removed, and the doctor told me that it can come back in just a few months. I wasn't worried because I knew my eye was healed. After the surgery, for the first six months, every time the surgeon checked my eye, he said, "We couldn't have asked for a better result." I knew that. God healed my eye.
There are more examples of how God relieved some more symptoms of Sjogren's Syndrome so that I could continue teaching. I do not know why He does not heal me, but He allowed me to keep teaching.
Five or six years ago, my mouth was getting drier and my throat would hurt every day. I was hoarse, also. I did get a wireless microphone to use in my classroom after going to a special therapist. She was not a speech therapist, but a voice therapist, I guess. My rheumatologist referred me to her. She found that I could talk 2.5 times as long when I spoke quietly, compared to using the normal volume of my voice to talk across a room. So using the microphone relieved the pain and it helped me to be able to speak to my students in a pleasant tone of voice and still be heard in the back of the room.
At this time I was drinking 4 bottles of water per day in my classroom to keep my mouth from being too dry. If my mouth was dry, my throat would get irritated, and I would cough repeatedly. That would end the lesson. Also, my feet burned from the neuropathy that Sjogren's causes.
I was being prayed for often during this time. I had a friend Gerri who would pray that I would be healed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. One night I asked God for relief from the symptoms of Sjogren's Syndrome. This was a few years after the surgery on my eye, and my eyes were better, but it was difficult to teach. We were asking God to heal me completely, but if that was not His plan, I would be happy to simply feel better.
Since the night I prayed, the burning in my feet is much less. I don't notice most days. I do tend to wear sandals to keep my feet cooler, but the burning is inside my feet. The Lord reduced my thirst. I went down to drinking 3 bottles of water per day and my throat hurt less. God gave me the ability to keep teaching until my school district offered an early retirement incentive, and I could retire.
I was fortunate to be able to read from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible at my father's house on August 13th. I found the comments on the passage of scripture about the Canaanite woman to be fascinating. I had wondered why Christ said things to her that seemed so off-putting. In other instances Christ had asked supplicants, "What do you want of Me?" Why did He make Himself so unavailable to this particular woman?
Of course, she was not Jewish, but neither was the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus spoke to the Samaritan first. What was so different about the Canaanite lady? The difference was that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. Christ could see her heart.
Jesus Christ could see that she was a woman of great faith. He knew that if he presented obstacles to her, that her faith would grow. Each time he ignored her or verbally pushed her away, she came closer. She was not offended that He compared her people to dogs. She became even more humble, instead of arguing or being offended. When Christ said the food for the children shouldn't be given to their dogs, this lady was willing to eat the crumbs.
At that point Jesus answered her petition. He commended her faith, and healed her daughter.
As I read the pages in Matthew Henry regarding this passage in Matthew, I gained increasing clarity about my situation. I have known since 2007 that God was drawing me closer to Him. Now I know He also recognized that my faith was strong, and He knew it could grow stronger. He had confidence in me. Thank you Father for Your confidence in me! I love You.
Sharon
Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to Him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."
Jesus did not utter a word. So his disciples came to Him and urged Him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."
He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."
The woman came and knelt before Him, "Lord, help me!" she said.
He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table."
Then Jesus answered, "Woman,you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
As you can imagine, the crumbs that fall from God's table must be tremendous. I am writing this to remind myself that I may not get all I want from God, but what I get is pretty amazing. I just had a breast biopsy today. I asked some friends for prayer, and I went through the biopsy with a feeling of great peace: lying there feeling like nothing was going to bother me. I actually felt quite cozy; I think that is the best word. The biopsy was done because a lump showed up in my mammogram. I have no symptoms. The surgeon cannot feel any mass, and the mass does not show up in an ultrasound, increasing the chance that it is benign.
In the past I have asked God for healing of complete conditions and I have asked for relief from symptoms. I have Sjogren's Syndrome, and I've had it at least 25 years. It's an autoimmune condition that begins with dryness in the eyes and mouth because the glands are being attacked. I began with dryness in my eyes that gradually led to a lump (pinguicula) on my left eye. My eye would water in bright light, and if I walked outside without sunglasses, I would grab my eye because of the strong pain that shot through my eye. Finally, the growth spread to my cornea (a pterygium), and my eye surgeon said we had to remove it.
Several weeks before the surgery, during a Bible study, I asked for healing in my left eye. The pain and watering were so bad, I had to pull off the road on the way home from work because I could not see the road. My friends prayed, and I was healed! I remember my friend saying, "She's healed," as the Lord spoke to her. After that day, my eye was moist and the pain and watering stopped. I considered cancelling the surgery, but the lump on my eye was a callus caused by the dryness that had been in my eye. It had not disappeared, and it interfered with the proper closing of my eyelid. That made my eye even drier, and my eye would not be perfect with the lump there.
My eye doctor is also an eye surgeon. I remember that he became more cautious as the surgery date approached. Sometimes a pterygium will come back after being removed, and the doctor told me that it can come back in just a few months. I wasn't worried because I knew my eye was healed. After the surgery, for the first six months, every time the surgeon checked my eye, he said, "We couldn't have asked for a better result." I knew that. God healed my eye.
There are more examples of how God relieved some more symptoms of Sjogren's Syndrome so that I could continue teaching. I do not know why He does not heal me, but He allowed me to keep teaching.
Five or six years ago, my mouth was getting drier and my throat would hurt every day. I was hoarse, also. I did get a wireless microphone to use in my classroom after going to a special therapist. She was not a speech therapist, but a voice therapist, I guess. My rheumatologist referred me to her. She found that I could talk 2.5 times as long when I spoke quietly, compared to using the normal volume of my voice to talk across a room. So using the microphone relieved the pain and it helped me to be able to speak to my students in a pleasant tone of voice and still be heard in the back of the room.
At this time I was drinking 4 bottles of water per day in my classroom to keep my mouth from being too dry. If my mouth was dry, my throat would get irritated, and I would cough repeatedly. That would end the lesson. Also, my feet burned from the neuropathy that Sjogren's causes.
I was being prayed for often during this time. I had a friend Gerri who would pray that I would be healed from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. One night I asked God for relief from the symptoms of Sjogren's Syndrome. This was a few years after the surgery on my eye, and my eyes were better, but it was difficult to teach. We were asking God to heal me completely, but if that was not His plan, I would be happy to simply feel better.
Since the night I prayed, the burning in my feet is much less. I don't notice most days. I do tend to wear sandals to keep my feet cooler, but the burning is inside my feet. The Lord reduced my thirst. I went down to drinking 3 bottles of water per day and my throat hurt less. God gave me the ability to keep teaching until my school district offered an early retirement incentive, and I could retire.
I was fortunate to be able to read from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Bible at my father's house on August 13th. I found the comments on the passage of scripture about the Canaanite woman to be fascinating. I had wondered why Christ said things to her that seemed so off-putting. In other instances Christ had asked supplicants, "What do you want of Me?" Why did He make Himself so unavailable to this particular woman?
Of course, she was not Jewish, but neither was the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus spoke to the Samaritan first. What was so different about the Canaanite lady? The difference was that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. Christ could see her heart.
Jesus Christ could see that she was a woman of great faith. He knew that if he presented obstacles to her, that her faith would grow. Each time he ignored her or verbally pushed her away, she came closer. She was not offended that He compared her people to dogs. She became even more humble, instead of arguing or being offended. When Christ said the food for the children shouldn't be given to their dogs, this lady was willing to eat the crumbs.
At that point Jesus answered her petition. He commended her faith, and healed her daughter.
As I read the pages in Matthew Henry regarding this passage in Matthew, I gained increasing clarity about my situation. I have known since 2007 that God was drawing me closer to Him. Now I know He also recognized that my faith was strong, and He knew it could grow stronger. He had confidence in me. Thank you Father for Your confidence in me! I love You.
Sharon
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
One Month Later
I am not doing as well as I wanted to be. In June I had been retired for one year, and realized that I am getting worse twice as fast as I expected. My expectation was that I wouldn't be much worse at all in one year. Maybe have some more flushing and feeling hot a couple days a week. A few bouts of diarrhea per month---nothing that would change my life very often. Boy, was I off base!
Now it is just a month after my one year retirement anniversary, and I continue to go downhill. I have been able to give myself extra Octreotide once per day for a month, and that reduced the feeling of having a hotplate between my shoulder blades. I don't perspire as heavily. However, I can't stop my face from flushing, and I am having diarrhea and abdominal pain a few days a week. Today the abdominal pain has been greater than before, going up and down the ascending and descending colon. That's not unusual, but today the pain has never gone away. I couldn't do much because of the pain and weakness.
For a month I have sometimes had pain and a feeling of fullness across the upper abdomen. One day I felt like I was getting a "stomach flu." I had feelings of nausea followed by feelings of impending diarrhea, weakness and exhaustion. Then I realized I also had the full feeling across
the abdomen, and took my shot of Octreotide. I felt better in 20 minutes. I repeated those symptoms last Wednesday, but I had already taken my Octreotide. That was discouraging.
My family just returned from a nice vacation in Idaho. We were able to stay at my younger sister's house in the country, and see my great niece. My father went with us. We were gone 9 days and had a great time. I had difficulty staying in the car for two or three hours at a time while we drove to Idaho. Therefore, I have decided that I need to make my trip to France in the next 18 months.
It's a bucket list item. I was not planning to see France so soon, but now I know I had better go. Since I will be old enough to remove some money from my tax deferred savings next July, I will make the arrangements to see Paris, Versailles, and Normandy. I want to see where my Laizures (LeSueurs) came from. I guess we might be gone from home about 12 days. It is odd to have to speed things up because I don't know how much longer I will be able to go places without great discomfort.
Today I called my surgeon to make an appointment to see him. Usually, I have seen him after every Octreoscan, but last year nothing showed up in the MRI, Octreoscan or CT scan. The surgeon has more years of experience with carcinoid patients than my oncologist does, so I want to talk with him. My oncologist's nurse returned my call, also. She told the doctor what was going on, and he increased the dose of my LAR from 30 mg to 40 mg every 28 days. I have been able to get by on 30 mg for 2.5 years, so the progress of my cancer was slowed down by the medication. It's just time for a higher dose now.
This is not a terribly interesting post, but I want to be realistic about my case in order to give information to other patients. I know I wanted to know what others were going through when I started out with carcinoid.
The nice thing is that my Uncle Jim sent me a great passage of scripture from Ephesians 3:8-20. I have quoted part of it at the top of the blog.
"Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given to me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ and to make plain to everyone one the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, Who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to His eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In Him and through Him, we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory. For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge...".
God Bless,
Sharon
Now it is just a month after my one year retirement anniversary, and I continue to go downhill. I have been able to give myself extra Octreotide once per day for a month, and that reduced the feeling of having a hotplate between my shoulder blades. I don't perspire as heavily. However, I can't stop my face from flushing, and I am having diarrhea and abdominal pain a few days a week. Today the abdominal pain has been greater than before, going up and down the ascending and descending colon. That's not unusual, but today the pain has never gone away. I couldn't do much because of the pain and weakness.
For a month I have sometimes had pain and a feeling of fullness across the upper abdomen. One day I felt like I was getting a "stomach flu." I had feelings of nausea followed by feelings of impending diarrhea, weakness and exhaustion. Then I realized I also had the full feeling across
the abdomen, and took my shot of Octreotide. I felt better in 20 minutes. I repeated those symptoms last Wednesday, but I had already taken my Octreotide. That was discouraging.
My family just returned from a nice vacation in Idaho. We were able to stay at my younger sister's house in the country, and see my great niece. My father went with us. We were gone 9 days and had a great time. I had difficulty staying in the car for two or three hours at a time while we drove to Idaho. Therefore, I have decided that I need to make my trip to France in the next 18 months.
It's a bucket list item. I was not planning to see France so soon, but now I know I had better go. Since I will be old enough to remove some money from my tax deferred savings next July, I will make the arrangements to see Paris, Versailles, and Normandy. I want to see where my Laizures (LeSueurs) came from. I guess we might be gone from home about 12 days. It is odd to have to speed things up because I don't know how much longer I will be able to go places without great discomfort.
Today I called my surgeon to make an appointment to see him. Usually, I have seen him after every Octreoscan, but last year nothing showed up in the MRI, Octreoscan or CT scan. The surgeon has more years of experience with carcinoid patients than my oncologist does, so I want to talk with him. My oncologist's nurse returned my call, also. She told the doctor what was going on, and he increased the dose of my LAR from 30 mg to 40 mg every 28 days. I have been able to get by on 30 mg for 2.5 years, so the progress of my cancer was slowed down by the medication. It's just time for a higher dose now.
This is not a terribly interesting post, but I want to be realistic about my case in order to give information to other patients. I know I wanted to know what others were going through when I started out with carcinoid.
The nice thing is that my Uncle Jim sent me a great passage of scripture from Ephesians 3:8-20. I have quoted part of it at the top of the blog.
"Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given to me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ and to make plain to everyone one the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, Who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to His eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In Him and through Him, we may approach God with freedom and confidence. I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory. For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge...".
God Bless,
Sharon
Friday, June 17, 2011
I've Passed a Milestone on my Journey
Dear Friends,
I had my appointment with my oncologist last week. For the last 4 months, we have been meeting every two months because I have been staying stable. My labs have been good: my gastrin was at 33 and my Chromogranin A was at 1.4 this month. So we made my appointment for two months from now.
However, I have not been just fine. Since May 1, I have been flushing everyday. It covers my whole face, instead of just my forehead, as it had done for the previous month. Also, the heat that causes perspiration on my head and neck has increased. Now I feel as if there is a heated circle in the middle of my back spreading from one shoulder blade to the other. I perspire more and I am redder.
My oncologist said he doesn't doubt that my symptoms are caused by the carcinoid tumor. Also, I was red-faced and hot the whole time of my appointment. I didn't have to say much, before Dr. Z decided to increase my medication.
So I reached a milestone in the progress of my cancer. The standard dose (30 mgs) of the Octreotide that I have been getting every 28 days is not enough to control my tumor. I didn't think it was controlled last fall when I had diarrhea daily for 2 1/2 months, but the doctor didn't want to increase my medication because of that. He went for finding a medication that would treat my symptoms, and I started taking Welchol for diarrhea. Now, we have no other way to curb the activity of a neuroendocrine tumor, except to increase the dose of Octreotide.
I have read many accounts on Cancer Compass of other carcinoid patients who add shots to the usual routine of Octreotide. One mother wrote me that her 32-year-old son had fewer problems as he changed his diet in addition to incresed medication. He found he got more relief from a diet of fish, chicken and vegetables.
So I joined the ranks of those of you giving yourselves rescue shots. One more step closer to uncontrollable symptoms. I am giving myself a 100 mcg shot every morning. It doesn't take the flushing away. I have to give myself two shots away to do that, but I will follow the doctor's orders and just use 100 mcg.
Thank you for being here for me. I know some of you are on the same journey that I am on. I see the keywords you look up on Google that bring you to this blog. Thank you to the few people in Germany and the US who read every new post right away. You bless my heart. Thank you for joining me on my journey. It's easier when I am not alone.
Love,
Sharon
I had my appointment with my oncologist last week. For the last 4 months, we have been meeting every two months because I have been staying stable. My labs have been good: my gastrin was at 33 and my Chromogranin A was at 1.4 this month. So we made my appointment for two months from now.
However, I have not been just fine. Since May 1, I have been flushing everyday. It covers my whole face, instead of just my forehead, as it had done for the previous month. Also, the heat that causes perspiration on my head and neck has increased. Now I feel as if there is a heated circle in the middle of my back spreading from one shoulder blade to the other. I perspire more and I am redder.
My oncologist said he doesn't doubt that my symptoms are caused by the carcinoid tumor. Also, I was red-faced and hot the whole time of my appointment. I didn't have to say much, before Dr. Z decided to increase my medication.
So I reached a milestone in the progress of my cancer. The standard dose (30 mgs) of the Octreotide that I have been getting every 28 days is not enough to control my tumor. I didn't think it was controlled last fall when I had diarrhea daily for 2 1/2 months, but the doctor didn't want to increase my medication because of that. He went for finding a medication that would treat my symptoms, and I started taking Welchol for diarrhea. Now, we have no other way to curb the activity of a neuroendocrine tumor, except to increase the dose of Octreotide.
I have read many accounts on Cancer Compass of other carcinoid patients who add shots to the usual routine of Octreotide. One mother wrote me that her 32-year-old son had fewer problems as he changed his diet in addition to incresed medication. He found he got more relief from a diet of fish, chicken and vegetables.
So I joined the ranks of those of you giving yourselves rescue shots. One more step closer to uncontrollable symptoms. I am giving myself a 100 mcg shot every morning. It doesn't take the flushing away. I have to give myself two shots away to do that, but I will follow the doctor's orders and just use 100 mcg.
Thank you for being here for me. I know some of you are on the same journey that I am on. I see the keywords you look up on Google that bring you to this blog. Thank you to the few people in Germany and the US who read every new post right away. You bless my heart. Thank you for joining me on my journey. It's easier when I am not alone.
Love,
Sharon
Thursday, June 2, 2011
You CAN Change Some Things
Hello! Happy June!
I was looking at the statistics for this blog today. It was interesting to see that someone had chosen to read my post from April 10, 2010 titled "I am the Scourge of Crabgrass, the Defender of the Iris". I reported there how I worked hard for months to remove all the crabgrass from a rectangular flower bed on the east side of my backyard: pulling weeds, spraying with crabgrass killer, pulling weeds again, spraying with Round-Up, and finishing with a pre-emergent crabgrass killer. It's been a year since I reported last, and that garden plot has no crabgrass in it now.
I was looking at the statistics for this blog today. It was interesting to see that someone had chosen to read my post from April 10, 2010 titled "I am the Scourge of Crabgrass, the Defender of the Iris". I reported there how I worked hard for months to remove all the crabgrass from a rectangular flower bed on the east side of my backyard: pulling weeds, spraying with crabgrass killer, pulling weeds again, spraying with Round-Up, and finishing with a pre-emergent crabgrass killer. It's been a year since I reported last, and that garden plot has no crabgrass in it now.
Two years ago, my husband and I began to work on the "no mans land" in our backyard. It was just a section in the southeast corner with nothing attractive planted there. Richard wanted to help make my dream about our backyard come true. It, literally, had been a dream of bowers of azaleas circling the yard. However, azaleas can't survive in the hot sun in Ontario, California. So we planted a camellia and five azaleas in the shade of a large bush, and four Our Lady of Guadeloupe roses beneath the palm trees. I added more paperwhite narcissus and daffodils in the original crabgrass-laden section, threw in some deep red geraniums and blue lobelia, and we finished up with alyssum and California poppies from seed.
It has been lovely to look at the yard this year. I'm just dealing with powdery mildew on the roses because of the recurring rains and shade from the blasted palm trees. However, temperatures over 90 degrees F will soon take care of mildew. My niece came over on Memorial Day and exclaimed, "Everything's blooming!"
Yes, everything that is supposed to bloom in May and June is blooming! There is no crabgrass in the flower bed on the east side of the backyard. The new plants we added are doing well. The three camellias (our first) have gone through their first summer and winter in good health, and the additional azaleas have all bloomed.Therefore, it is true that I can change some things.
So I have tried to derive some principles from this experience:
1. I have to keep working at things I want to change and be consistent in my work. Only attacking the crabgrass once or twice a year had no lasting effect. The weeds would come right back from their roots the next spring. I had to start working in November when the crabgrass was waining, and keep on top of it right through spring when the weeds would have come back again.
2. I have to know what I am dealing with. (Know your enemy.) What I plant has to be appropriate to the environment. Within my yard I have several little micro climates, and I need to know where they are. Our camellias are larger and greener than our neighbor's camellias because we made sure they are shaded by a fence, the house or a tall bush. Our new neighbors had planted two camellias in the middle of their front yard, which faces west. Their bushes are now covered with crunchy brown leaves. Actually, I'll need to look and see if they have any leaves left.
3. God can heal relationships. When my husband heard about my dream of a yard with bowers of blooming azaleas, he said, "We can make your dreams come true." I was moved that he would work on a project just to make me happy. It softened my heart toward my husband.
4. One success can inspire us to try a new one. Now I know I'll have few problems filling in the patch of land that is 18 inches by 5 feet outside the dining room window. My big new project is to put a planter in the front yard where there is none. I want to take the over-abundant plants from the side yard and add two of the roses from the backyard to create a curving planter in front of the house. The planter will have drought tolerant plants in it that will look better than the thinning grass. I estimate this will take two years! I will have to let you know how it goes.
Love,
Sharon
Thursday, May 19, 2011
We are Fine
May is passing by us. I wanted to let you know that we are doing much better. Almost three months ago Richard and I took our daughter to Loma Linda Hospital because she was in a crisis, and I spent a month in agony. That seems far away from me now. The treatment Kay received took several weeks to bring her back to her normal self. Some days I spent my prayer time in tears, wondering when Kay's life and mine would calm down.
Now things are much calmer. Kay is at home and driving herself to various appointments. We are both reading classic books like So Big, Rebecca and My Antonia. We take a day trip out-of-town every two weeks go to the beach or look around a new city. The three of us have been to the former home of Sam Maloof, who was a craftsman of fine wood furniture. Sam gave rocking chairs to every president from John F. Kennedy through George Bush. It was lovely to see the home he built, adding one room at-a-time to a small cottage.
I do not know what the future holds. I have faith the I will continue to be well for several years. It is now 3 1/2 years since I developed carcinoid cancer. There are a few new therapies being developed now. One of them won't work for me because I don't produce 5-HIAA in my urine. However, my oncologist tells me the targeted therapies will be useful to me, and those are getting closer to being used.
I have the tiny carcinoids that are only about 1mm. If you have any information about survival with with that type of carcinoid, I would like to hear from you. I have one tumor (so it seems from the scans) in the upper part of my liver.
My daughter has been helped by her doctors and medication. We have faith that she will be able to go to the mission field, as she has wanted to do since she was 12 years old. If she cannot go, then God has another plan for her here in the US. However, Kay's faith remains strong that she will go back to college to major in Intercultural Studies and serve God with her life.
As we have gone through these had times, our family has been helped by the emphasis at church this spring. Our pastor has been preaching on what to do when life is unpredictable for several weeks. One of his key verses has been Ephesians 1:3. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Another reference is Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Some helpful notes:
The issues you are dealing with are already decided by God.
"Failure is the greatest opportunity I have to know who I really am." William Klipinger
(In our church we refer to failures as "setbacks".)
"... the people around me do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am." Sam Peeples
This last one means the most to me:
"If I know what I am supposed to do, it doesn't matter what everybody thinks." Pastor Joel.
Be close enough to God to know what God wants you to do.
Blessings,
Sharon
Now things are much calmer. Kay is at home and driving herself to various appointments. We are both reading classic books like So Big, Rebecca and My Antonia. We take a day trip out-of-town every two weeks go to the beach or look around a new city. The three of us have been to the former home of Sam Maloof, who was a craftsman of fine wood furniture. Sam gave rocking chairs to every president from John F. Kennedy through George Bush. It was lovely to see the home he built, adding one room at-a-time to a small cottage.
I do not know what the future holds. I have faith the I will continue to be well for several years. It is now 3 1/2 years since I developed carcinoid cancer. There are a few new therapies being developed now. One of them won't work for me because I don't produce 5-HIAA in my urine. However, my oncologist tells me the targeted therapies will be useful to me, and those are getting closer to being used.
I have the tiny carcinoids that are only about 1mm. If you have any information about survival with with that type of carcinoid, I would like to hear from you. I have one tumor (so it seems from the scans) in the upper part of my liver.
My daughter has been helped by her doctors and medication. We have faith that she will be able to go to the mission field, as she has wanted to do since she was 12 years old. If she cannot go, then God has another plan for her here in the US. However, Kay's faith remains strong that she will go back to college to major in Intercultural Studies and serve God with her life.
As we have gone through these had times, our family has been helped by the emphasis at church this spring. Our pastor has been preaching on what to do when life is unpredictable for several weeks. One of his key verses has been Ephesians 1:3. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Another reference is Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Some helpful notes:
The issues you are dealing with are already decided by God.
"Failure is the greatest opportunity I have to know who I really am." William Klipinger
(In our church we refer to failures as "setbacks".)
"... the people around me do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am." Sam Peeples
This last one means the most to me:
"If I know what I am supposed to do, it doesn't matter what everybody thinks." Pastor Joel.
Be close enough to God to know what God wants you to do.
Blessings,
Sharon
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Joy that Music Brings!
Dear Friends, If you have read this blog for a few years, you are aware that I frequently refer to music as helping me weather the storms of having cancer. In fact, it is a source of joy! I have quoted songs by Francesca Battistelli, Jeremy Camp, Matt Redman, David Crowder*Band, and others. Yesterday I found information about how and why music is so helpful to Christians. The new information is in the book Knowing God Intimately by Joyce Meyer copyright 2003 by Joyce Meyer. It is in chapter 10 "Ever Be Filled" with the Holy Spirit in the section HAVE A HAPPY HEART.
Joyce points out that some actions and some attitudes do NOT help us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. "Why not? Because the Holy Spirit is not negative in any way. His silence during such times is our signal that He is not pleased with our conversation.
When I feel the Holy Spirit being stirred up in me, I know He is pleased; when I feel Him receding, I consider that He may not be pleased.
The Holy Spirit is very fond of 'right' music--music that is encouraging, up-lifting, positive, and joy-filled--music that has a good message. In the last part of Ephesians 5:19, the King James Version says that we are to make melody in our heart to the Lord. That literally means we are to go through the day with a song in our heart...In fact, it is also spiritual warfare.
Satan is opposed to joy and will do all in his power to prevent us from having it. According to Nehemiah 8:10 KJV, the joy of the Lord is our strength. Satan wants us weak, but music stirs up our joy, and therefore, our strength. The more we sing and make melody in our heart, the better off we are."
Now I understand better why I was helped so much when all I could do was pray the songs by Casting Crowns and others as I drove to work everyday after my cancer diagnosis. I was increasing my strengthin the Lord. Plus, the Holy Spirit was pleased with me and spending much time in my company. Thank you, Father, for your strength and Your love.
Sharon
Thursday, April 7, 2011
My Most Recent Visit to the Oncologist 4/6/11
Dear Friends,
I was just at the doctor ( Dr. Z, my oncologist) yesterday where everything went well. My symptoms continue to stay minor. Oddly, I had gotten confused about the date of my Octretide injection and had come in a week late for treatment. However, I was fine. That was the first thing my doctor asked me about, did I notice any problems after going 5 weeks since the Octreotide? No, just a minor problem on Monday, for which I had taken one dose of Welchol. Doctor Z thought that was great.
Dr Z has become much more personable in the last two years. At that time he had told me very bluntly that I didn't need to ever hope for a surgery that would remove the cancer from my liver. Since the carcinoid cancer was in my bloodstream, it was everywhere in my body. How else had it gotten to my liver except through the bloodstream? I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't have any foolish notions that I could ever be cured.
Ever since I had known him, Doctor Z was so uncompassionate and unsmiling that I wondered if he had Aspberger's syndrome or another disorder that keeps him from connecting from people. He is a researcher at the university medical school where I am treated. He is in clinic only Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings; the kind of schedule that would suit a very reserved person.
(My surgeon is totally different. He is outgoing and always has surgery students trailing after him. He is an upbeat guy who hoped to effect a cure of my carcinoid by resecting the duodenum even when my tumors were not visible. He knew an expert in endoscopic ultrasound could locate the tiny tumors in the operating room before the surgery, so the tumors did not have to be large. I went through the surgery, but unfortunately, the first tiny tumor had already metastasized to my liver.)
Yesterday Dr. Z asked about how I liked being retired, and I told him about how I am caring for my daughter now. I am driving her to outpatient services at a hospital associated with Loma Linda University. Each time I take Kay or pick her up, I drive 52 miles. Dr. Z was understanding, and said six months from now things will be alright, but it is hard going through it.
He understood about her condition and said what she is doing is quite normal under the circumstances. Before he left he shook my hand and wished me well. He said all the right things. It is as if Dr. Z has been taking lessons in how to relate to patients. Ironically, I had felt as I drove to the Cancer Center that my friends were not being supportive enough to me as I go through this hard time. I wondered why no one responded to me. Then, when I go to the oncologist, I get support!
God is good. One more time He worked behind the scenes to bring about a result that benefited me without my "helping" Him. My main lesson learned this week is that I can ONLY RELY ON GOD. No one else will come through all the time. Some people rarely come through for you, but God always does. Thank you, Father. I know how You love me.
Love, Sharon
I was just at the doctor ( Dr. Z, my oncologist) yesterday where everything went well. My symptoms continue to stay minor. Oddly, I had gotten confused about the date of my Octretide injection and had come in a week late for treatment. However, I was fine. That was the first thing my doctor asked me about, did I notice any problems after going 5 weeks since the Octreotide? No, just a minor problem on Monday, for which I had taken one dose of Welchol. Doctor Z thought that was great.
Dr Z has become much more personable in the last two years. At that time he had told me very bluntly that I didn't need to ever hope for a surgery that would remove the cancer from my liver. Since the carcinoid cancer was in my bloodstream, it was everywhere in my body. How else had it gotten to my liver except through the bloodstream? I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't have any foolish notions that I could ever be cured.
Ever since I had known him, Doctor Z was so uncompassionate and unsmiling that I wondered if he had Aspberger's syndrome or another disorder that keeps him from connecting from people. He is a researcher at the university medical school where I am treated. He is in clinic only Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings; the kind of schedule that would suit a very reserved person.
(My surgeon is totally different. He is outgoing and always has surgery students trailing after him. He is an upbeat guy who hoped to effect a cure of my carcinoid by resecting the duodenum even when my tumors were not visible. He knew an expert in endoscopic ultrasound could locate the tiny tumors in the operating room before the surgery, so the tumors did not have to be large. I went through the surgery, but unfortunately, the first tiny tumor had already metastasized to my liver.)
Yesterday Dr. Z asked about how I liked being retired, and I told him about how I am caring for my daughter now. I am driving her to outpatient services at a hospital associated with Loma Linda University. Each time I take Kay or pick her up, I drive 52 miles. Dr. Z was understanding, and said six months from now things will be alright, but it is hard going through it.
He understood about her condition and said what she is doing is quite normal under the circumstances. Before he left he shook my hand and wished me well. He said all the right things. It is as if Dr. Z has been taking lessons in how to relate to patients. Ironically, I had felt as I drove to the Cancer Center that my friends were not being supportive enough to me as I go through this hard time. I wondered why no one responded to me. Then, when I go to the oncologist, I get support!
God is good. One more time He worked behind the scenes to bring about a result that benefited me without my "helping" Him. My main lesson learned this week is that I can ONLY RELY ON GOD. No one else will come through all the time. Some people rarely come through for you, but God always does. Thank you, Father. I know how You love me.
Love, Sharon
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
You can Rely on God
Dear Friends,
I have been listening to Jeremy Camp Cd's as I drive back-and-forth from home to Kay's therapy and to my appointments at the Cancer Center. It has been exhausting the last two days because I have been driving 150 miles per day to take both of us to our appointments and back home. I have found strength and favor from God, and encouragement from Jeremy's music.
When I started out on this journey I thought I might be driving closer to 180 miles per day, and taking 1.5 hours to go from Redlands to Orange, California. By taking the most direct freeways, the route was only 150 miles round trip, and I got to Orange in only 1 hour and 10 minutes. So conditions were not as bad as I thought they would be. I was driving between 7:50 am and 2:30 pm, so that helped me to avoid heavy traffic. God blessed me by giving me smooth sailing free of traffic jams.
One of my favorite Cd's is Restored by Jeremy Camp 2004. I have had the record for several years, and I have never put it away for even 6 months. Other Cd's get played for 1-3 years and are then stored in a Cd rack. I love the title song; it has lifted me up many times. However, Everytime, reaches me every time I hear it. It is all true.
Everytime I'm on my knees pleading for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
Everytime I'm on my knees reaching for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
To feel the crown of the One I have breathed for To know the door It will never be broken
Because I've found that time, this time, Has no hold on the rate that I need You! And I know it's never hard to find You.
I'm holding onto this hope I've been given To be always with You. I'm seeing now that this fullness of faith is Always seeking You
Another wonderful song is Enough from Carried Me, The Worship Project.
Thanks for your love, Sharon
I have been listening to Jeremy Camp Cd's as I drive back-and-forth from home to Kay's therapy and to my appointments at the Cancer Center. It has been exhausting the last two days because I have been driving 150 miles per day to take both of us to our appointments and back home. I have found strength and favor from God, and encouragement from Jeremy's music.
When I started out on this journey I thought I might be driving closer to 180 miles per day, and taking 1.5 hours to go from Redlands to Orange, California. By taking the most direct freeways, the route was only 150 miles round trip, and I got to Orange in only 1 hour and 10 minutes. So conditions were not as bad as I thought they would be. I was driving between 7:50 am and 2:30 pm, so that helped me to avoid heavy traffic. God blessed me by giving me smooth sailing free of traffic jams.
One of my favorite Cd's is Restored by Jeremy Camp 2004. I have had the record for several years, and I have never put it away for even 6 months. Other Cd's get played for 1-3 years and are then stored in a Cd rack. I love the title song; it has lifted me up many times. However, Everytime, reaches me every time I hear it. It is all true.
Everytime I'm on my knees pleading for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
Everytime I'm on my knees reaching for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
To feel the crown of the One I have breathed for To know the door It will never be broken
Because I've found that time, this time, Has no hold on the rate that I need You! And I know it's never hard to find You.
I'm holding onto this hope I've been given To be always with You. I'm seeing now that this fullness of faith is Always seeking You
Another wonderful song is Enough from Carried Me, The Worship Project.
" All of You Is more than enough for all of me For every thirst and every need You satisfy me with Your love And all I have in You is more than enough! "
Thanks for your love, Sharon
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