October Begins

Hi!
I've been teaching for 5 weeks so far and progress reports are due. School is in full swing. We have done 3 labs in seventh grade, and our famous cell models will be done on Tuesday.

This is where I begin to wear out. Always have, but this year is different. I have had to spend Saturday resting all day--except for doing laundry. Last week I stayed in my nightgown until 5 pm. This week I slept until 12:49, but I was bathed and dressed by 2:00. A small victory.

I don't know which of my ailments is getting me down. My cancer marker is low, but my body is still battling the disease. The battle makes me fatigued. The degenerating disks in my neck and lower back cause strong pains that radiate out from the spine. I can recognize those pains. The nerve pain in my neck is the strongest pain I have. My arthritic right arm and hand ache all the time now, and I never had arthritis pain until February 2009. I know people with arthritis are supposed to exercise their joints, but at the same time are to rest and not do too much.

I have two autoimmune diseases called Sjogren's Syndrome and fibromyalgia. Sjogren's has been attacking my salivary glands and lachrymal glands for 23 years. It's primary symptoms are dry eyes, dry mouth, and musculoskeletal pain. My fibromyalgia pains come and go. Before I had a diagnosis, I would have strong pains in my arms and legs that I can now recognize as fibromyalgia, but what I feel today is aching all over. I don't know which condition is making me ache--not everyone has five choices to pick from to figure out why they are hurting.

So there you are, all my symptoms. I feel like "These are the times that try men's souls." I wonder if I should take the whole weekend off from working in order to go back to school on Monday feeling refreshed. I usually work from 2-6 hours over the weekend to get grading done. And I am way behind right now. It's almost impossible for a teacher to feel like she is on top of everything. There is always more we could do to help more students achieve. I hear great teachers at work saying they love teaching, but the grading takes them until 1 am some nights. What about our health?

I appreciate your prayers. This is the time that takes great faith; when you have to press on with no big chance for improvement. Like my rheumatologist said, "It's not going to get any better" when speaking about my degenerating disks. I think that sums up the whole situation. Sometimes I envy the patients at the Chou Family Cancer Center who look so very sick that you know no one expects them to work for a living. Sometimes I just want to sit back in a recliner and be pampered, instead of jumping back on the freeway to hurry home again. Somebody drive me home and feed me dinner. But I stop by Carl's Jr. for food and fall asleep at 7:00pm. At least I don't grade papers on those nights.
Sharon