Joyce points out that some actions and some attitudes do NOT help us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. "Why not? Because the Holy Spirit is not negative in any way. His silence during such times is our signal that He is not pleased with our conversation.
When I feel the Holy Spirit being stirred up in me, I know He is pleased; when I feel Him receding, I consider that He may not be pleased.
The Holy Spirit is very fond of 'right' music--music that is encouraging, up-lifting, positive, and joy-filled--music that has a good message. In the last part of Ephesians 5:19, the King James Version says that we are to make melody in our heart to the Lord. That literally means we are to go through the day with a song in our heart...In fact, it is also spiritual warfare.
Satan is opposed to joy and will do all in his power to prevent us from having it. According to Nehemiah 8:10 KJV, the joy of the Lord is our strength. Satan wants us weak, but music stirs up our joy, and therefore, our strength. The more we sing and make melody in our heart, the better off we are."
Now I understand better why I was helped so much when all I could do was pray the songs by Casting Crowns and others as I drove to work everyday after my cancer diagnosis. I was increasing my strengthin the Lord. Plus, the Holy Spirit was pleased with me and spending much time in my company. Thank you, Father, for your strength and Your love.
Sharon
My blog is an autobiographical account of changes in my life from 2004 to the present. It's rich in principles from the Christian faith. It's charismatic. I am writing about how God is walking with me through my experience with carcinoid cancer. Also, I have had Sjogren's Syndrome, an autoimmune disorder, for over 25 years. Join me on my Journey.
Quote for October
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Joy that Music Brings!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
My Most Recent Visit to the Oncologist 4/6/11
I was just at the doctor ( Dr. Z, my oncologist) yesterday where everything went well. My symptoms continue to stay minor. Oddly, I had gotten confused about the date of my Octretide injection and had come in a week late for treatment. However, I was fine. That was the first thing my doctor asked me about, did I notice any problems after going 5 weeks since the Octreotide? No, just a minor problem on Monday, for which I had taken one dose of Welchol. Doctor Z thought that was great.
Dr Z has become much more personable in the last two years. At that time he had told me very bluntly that I didn't need to ever hope for a surgery that would remove the cancer from my liver. Since the carcinoid cancer was in my bloodstream, it was everywhere in my body. How else had it gotten to my liver except through the bloodstream? I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't have any foolish notions that I could ever be cured.
Ever since I had known him, Doctor Z was so uncompassionate and unsmiling that I wondered if he had Aspberger's syndrome or another disorder that keeps him from connecting from people. He is a researcher at the university medical school where I am treated. He is in clinic only Tuesday afternoons and Wednesday mornings; the kind of schedule that would suit a very reserved person.
(My surgeon is totally different. He is outgoing and always has surgery students trailing after him. He is an upbeat guy who hoped to effect a cure of my carcinoid by resecting the duodenum even when my tumors were not visible. He knew an expert in endoscopic ultrasound could locate the tiny tumors in the operating room before the surgery, so the tumors did not have to be large. I went through the surgery, but unfortunately, the first tiny tumor had already metastasized to my liver.)
Yesterday Dr. Z asked about how I liked being retired, and I told him about how I am caring for my daughter now. I am driving her to outpatient services at a hospital associated with Loma Linda University. Each time I take Kay or pick her up, I drive 52 miles. Dr. Z was understanding, and said six months from now things will be alright, but it is hard going through it.
He understood about her condition and said what she is doing is quite normal under the circumstances. Before he left he shook my hand and wished me well. He said all the right things. It is as if Dr. Z has been taking lessons in how to relate to patients. Ironically, I had felt as I drove to the Cancer Center that my friends were not being supportive enough to me as I go through this hard time. I wondered why no one responded to me. Then, when I go to the oncologist, I get support!
God is good. One more time He worked behind the scenes to bring about a result that benefited me without my "helping" Him. My main lesson learned this week is that I can ONLY RELY ON GOD. No one else will come through all the time. Some people rarely come through for you, but God always does. Thank you, Father. I know how You love me.
Love, Sharon
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
You can Rely on God
I have been listening to Jeremy Camp Cd's as I drive back-and-forth from home to Kay's therapy and to my appointments at the Cancer Center. It has been exhausting the last two days because I have been driving 150 miles per day to take both of us to our appointments and back home. I have found strength and favor from God, and encouragement from Jeremy's music.
When I started out on this journey I thought I might be driving closer to 180 miles per day, and taking 1.5 hours to go from Redlands to Orange, California. By taking the most direct freeways, the route was only 150 miles round trip, and I got to Orange in only 1 hour and 10 minutes. So conditions were not as bad as I thought they would be. I was driving between 7:50 am and 2:30 pm, so that helped me to avoid heavy traffic. God blessed me by giving me smooth sailing free of traffic jams.
One of my favorite Cd's is Restored by Jeremy Camp 2004. I have had the record for several years, and I have never put it away for even 6 months. Other Cd's get played for 1-3 years and are then stored in a Cd rack. I love the title song; it has lifted me up many times. However, Everytime, reaches me every time I hear it. It is all true.
Everytime I'm on my knees pleading for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
Everytime I'm on my knees reaching for Your strength I will find You there, Find You there.
To feel the crown of the One I have breathed for To know the door It will never be broken
Because I've found that time, this time, Has no hold on the rate that I need You! And I know it's never hard to find You.
I'm holding onto this hope I've been given To be always with You. I'm seeing now that this fullness of faith is Always seeking You
Another wonderful song is Enough from Carried Me, The Worship Project.
" All of You Is more than enough for all of me For every thirst and every need You satisfy me with Your love And all I have in You is more than enough! "
Thanks for your love, Sharon
Friday, February 25, 2011
What is Happening Now
It seems like readership increased as I sat in the ER with my daughter and my husband. My husband and I took her to the best place we knew of: Loma Linda University Medical Center. She was assessed in the emergency room. (You can schedule an appointment online to get into the ER there. I recommend it. Strongly.) She was referred to their facility nearby that is run by Loma Linda, and admitted. A young relative of mine had been there a few years ago, and says the staff will treat her well there.
Please pray for Kay and for us. Pray for wisdom, for healing. Pray the doctors will talk to us about what is going on. Kay is a very young adult, and I am waiting to see if the doctor has consent to talk to us. Pray for me when a 20-year-old staff member speaks to me like I'm not supposed to hear anything about my daughter. Her Dad and I brought her in, and are paying for her treatment with the insurance we earned by years of work. When we brought her in, the staff wanted to talk to us, because Kay wasn't much help.
For comfort, I turned to Philippians chapter 3. I used to read Philippians daily when I first was diagnosed with cancer. I remember when I prayed in 2007 that God could take my health, my daughter or my father to keep me in His perfect will. This is one way of losing my daughter.
"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,..."
Friday, February 11, 2011
Welchol works on Diarrhea
This is not real pleasant subject, so I will just use the word one more time. From now on today diarrhea will be referred to as the d-word. I wanted to use it a couple times so that this might show up on a Goggle search. Many of my readers find this blog through Google, Ask or Right Health. D-word is one of the most frequent problems we have, so I wanted to have a separate post about how Welchol helped me.
Looking at some old posts from September to December, I wrote of being increasingly sick from the d-word. It started at two days a week and increased to daily. That's a very common problem with carcinoid, and I began to despair of ever being well again. I hadn't expected to become housebound so soon. I'm not even 60 years old--I have lots of things to do still! And I know some of you are 70 and sitting there saying the same thing. We want our lives to be full.
In November I had a regular appointment with my cardiologist (Dr. Chen) whom I see about 3 times a year. I told him about my symptoms, and he suggested I use Welchol. We had just gotten my "bad" cholesterol down to 80, and Welchol is used to lower cholesterol. He explained that it is a packet of resin beads that attract cholesterol, and the cholesterol passes out with the feces. It is not a drug that circulates in the blood stream. It also makes people constipated.
I used Welchol daily for the first 30 days. I would start to get d-word, mix the Welchol with water, drink it and wait. About 90 minutes later it seemed to have worked, and I could resume my activities. It would take about the same amount of time for Lomotil to work, and that is a drug that paralyses the intestines. Also, in weeks were I was having d-word daily, I could just use the Welchol in the morning and go out that day. I went through the first box of Welchol in 30 days.
It's February and I still have half of the second box in my home. It's ready in case I need it. I hope Dr. Chen isn't disappointed that I have not kept up using it daily. He wants my bad cholesterol down to 70!
The information on front of the packet is: Sugar free. Welchol (colesevelam HCl) For Oral Suspension. 3.75g. Citrus Flavor. Single-Dose packet. Each packet contains 3.75 grams of colesevelam hydrochloride. Phenylketonurics: CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE 48 MG PER PACKET.
Note: Welchol is gritty. It's not fun to take, but you can dilute it in 1/2 to 1 cup of water. Someone wrote me that you can put it in soda.
UPDATE 12/17/11
I am happy to report that Welchol worked well for me for 13 months. It would stop diarrhea for 10 -24 hours for me. This month, however, I noticed it only worked long enough on a Sunday morning to get me and my passengers to church and back home again. It was effective from about 8:30 am until 12:30 pm, but that was long enough to get to worship. I spent the whole sermon feeling lots of activity in my intestines, and hoping I could get home in time. I did get home, but was disappointed Welchol was not as effective as it had been.
Yesterday I was very ill from carcinoid. I went through three doses of Welchol and two shots (100 micrograms each) of Octreotide Acetate. Basically, I went through two whole cycles of emptying my intestines. The 2 Welchol and the first injection lasted long enough for my daughter to drive me to a doctor's appointment, rest and walk my beagle three blocks. Then shortly before bedtime, I was sick again. I took more Welchol and took the second injection. That was sufficient for me to sleep through the night. I'm still wearing a bathrobe today and sitting around the house.
I have more understanding of the carcinoid patients who talk about the unrelenting d-word. It seems like it will win in the end.
I hope this helps someone.
Sharon
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
New Data
Yipee! Thank you, Father!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A Trip to the Emergency Room
My visit to the emergency room two days ago had nothing to do with carcinoid cancer. However, the carcinoid did influence my blood pressure.
I had an accident on Sunday when I fell and struck my head. The back of my head was cut on the corner of a stool, and my scalp was bleeding. I was surrounded by friends, so they did all the right things; calling 911, applying direct pressure, making sure I stayed conscious, etc. I had no intention of becoming unconscious and my mind was clear the whole time. My pastor told me the next day that I was running on adrenaline while I was lying there telling the EMTs my medications and how to spell them.
As usual, my blood pressure went up because of the trauma and the stress. I guess it got close to 195/100. When I was in the hospital, I could see it was 183/78 which is not really unusual for me in a situation like that. I told the ER nurse that the accident caused the carcinoid tumor to pour chemicals into my bloodstream that raised my blood pressure, but I don't think she understood. I was well taken care of and released quickly.
In the middle of the night when I was too uncomfortable to sleep, I began to think about how to tell medical experts about carcinoid crisis. They don't think of it happening in an accident--they don't seem to even know about it--but one of us can die because of it. About 4AM I was deciding to create a 5x8 laminated card for the doctor and the nurse that would give them some quick facts about carcinoid crisis and a website they can look at in time of need.
I did decide to get a Medic Alert bracelet so I don't have to recite all my afflictions and medications after a bonk on the head. I have also decided to ask people to read the medications back to me. I got asked the same question by three people who had not been conked on the head, and all the ER doctor really cared about was did I take the medication Plavix. The paramedic had written down all the drugs I had told him back at the house. Why didn't anybody read it back to me to help me remember?
Let's see if I can remember to do that next time.
Thank you for your prayers. I have 6 staples in my scalp and they should be removed about February 15.
God bless,
Sharon
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I Pray for You
I do pray for you. As I said a few months ago, I can see the countries my readers are in, and I can see the search words you use on Google or ask.com. I have prayed for the person that entered "dying carcinoid" and "carcinoid 2mm" and others. I have those tiny tumors, also. How moving it is to me to see patients are looking for encouragement, comfort, and information, and they come to this blog. God bless you all. God comfort you, strengthen you, heal you and hold your head up. God loves you.
The post that the most readers look at is the one about the Octreoscan. Everyday 1-5 people read that. I wrote it to be a source of information to you, and I'm glad that it is doing that.
If you want me to pray for you, please leave your request in the comment section, and I will add you to my daily prayers. I know God doesn't heal us all, but He can lessen pain, increase failing appetites, shrink tumors, give us composure, and give us assurance that our lives are not lived in vain. Even our lives that are shortened by this crummy illness have great significance to someone.
Do not fear for I AM with you. Do not be dismayed for I Am your God. I will STRENGTHEN you and HELP you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Love,
Sharon
Some Encouraging Words
It is in Hebrews 12: 1-3. This follows the wonderful chapter of the hall of faith; I love reading chapter 11 and leading right into chapter 12. It goes together.
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart.Hebrews 12:1-3 NAS